Phone message from Kevin during the 5th inning of yesterday’s Sox/Devil Rays game: I demand a six pack for every base that Dougie steals. That is worth some beer. I will take a six pack of Coors Light.
Return phone call: You can’t retroactively request beer.
Kev’s response: Damn right I can. Dad says a Dougie stolen base is worth at least a six pack.
Rebuttal: Which would put you at two…total…career. The last time he stole a base was over five years ago.
Kev: Don’t care. He’s a speed demon today. I want beer.
Me: Okay, listen, you can have a six pack every time Dougie steals a base if I get one every time Varitek…throws out a runner trying to steal.
Kev: *prolonged silence* Deal.
Me: You’re on.
Later in the evening, I relayed this exchange to Annette when I asked her to confirm that Dougie did, in fact steal a base.
Annette: He totally did. It’s all anyone will talk about.
Me: What possesses him to do that?
Annette: I bet he just woke up today and thought, “I feel fast.”
Me: Yikes. But still, a six pack for Dougie’s steals vs. a six pack for Varitek’s runners thrown out? I totally win.
Annette: You totally do.
However, I watched the replay of the game last night at 7:00 on NESN and was dismayed to see that Tampa Bay’s lone run scored on a Doug Mirabelli passed ball. I quickly shot off an email to my brother:
“Now see, you neglected to tell me that the only Tampa Bay run that scored did so on a DOUG MIRABELLI PASSED BALL! This is pertinent information. But I’ll let it slide…this time.
“Also, have you ever noticed that Dougie is completely square-shaped?* He’s perfectly geometric. I hereby dub him, ‘Dougie Mira-Squarepants.'”**
Still waiting for a response.