The Unbearable Exhuberance of Jason Varitek

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Last night’s game was the suck. Ain’t nobody going to deny that. Even after a rain delay and ChadBradFad-WhateverAd getting out of a dicey situation in the 8th, I somehow knew the game was going no place good. And so, to bed I went. (And evidently during my REM sleep, I developed a taste for talking like Yoda.)

You know those games that you’re not actually losing but you can just tell you’ll regret staying awake for? That was last night. The rain delay didn’t help but it’s hard to say that it was more damaging than the big slugger’s penchant for stranding a small Macedonian village’s worth of runners on base. Aside from Edgah (3-for-4) and Millar (of all people), it just didn’t seem like the team came to play.

That said, let’s focus on the positive, which is, clearly, that picture up there and the televised, live broadcast of same. Find me a more stoic, goes-about-his-business-with-no-fanfare player than Jason Varitek and I will tell you that you are a dirty liar, sir. So how fantastic was it to see Tek sit on the bench after Millar launched his homer, bounce up and down, as Annette said, “Like a kid on Christmas morning who just found out he got the bike he really, really wanted” and then, while the rest of the team was doing the customary, “ignore the dude who just hit the homer” thing, completely lose his shit and tackle Millar as he walked past? It was most excellent is what it was. Of course, being Tek, it’s likely that he broke something important in Millar as he is wont to do with the players he jumps on (Paging Mr. Foulke. Paging Mr. Embree….).

What can we do about getting him to jump on Mike Remlinger? Probably for that to happen, Remlinger would have to record an out of some sort of historical import and since he has an apparent affliction to recording outs of any kind, that seems unlikely. Lead pipe it is then…

Tonight, the Big Schill returns to the rotation and looks to right the ship against Jose Lima, he of the 4-12 record. I’m not a religous person but please, please, please, please let Schilling be Schilling. Pretty please?


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