Say It Ain’t So

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Oh, Adam, oh, oh, NO.

The thing is: I had totally planned to blog tonight about spring training and how Florida is hot and how I saw Gabe Kapler and Mike Lowell at Blu Sushi and how Gabe Kapler is superhuman and can crush mere mortals with his Forearms of Death and how I taught my Devil Rays fan grandmother how to keep score and how it was excellent and baseball is happening soon and yay. And then…everything went to shit. Seriously, in the sports world, this is Make Kristen Cry Week. And the powers that be are doing a bang up job.

First, Sergei Samsonov gets traded.

Then, Willie McGinest jumps ship to rejoin Romeo Crennel in Cleveland (this news reported to me on the phone by my mother in a tone of voice usually reserved for reporting a death in the family).

And then the Sox pull the rug out from Bronson Arroyo and ship him off to freakin’ Cincinnati. (Found out via text message from Annette the second my plane touched down yesterday afternoon).

And then, today, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, I nearly fall face first off the elliptical machine at the gym when ESPN reported that Vinatieri had signed with the Colts.

I…don’t even know what to say anymore. But it’s safe to say that I’m going to have to move my triumphant return to drinking up a few days.

American Idol better be damned good tonight (don’t bother, I’ve kicked my own ass for this many times already).

I need…several drinks.

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