In the "Things Could Always Be Worse" Department

Yes, Papelbon blew a save. And no, none of us are happy about it. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, we knew it was going to happen eventually. That said, things could always be worse. Take, for instance, the Yankees. Phenom Phillip Hughes, in a solid bid for a no-hitter against Texas last night, has to leave the game with a hamstring injury. He’s expected to miss 4-6 weeks.

I had the following IM conversation with my friend Sebastian, resident Yankee fan:

Me: Sebastian. A question.

Seb: Ok

Me: Did someone replace the hamstrings of your entire team with spun sugar? Because come on, man.

Seb: Fuckin’ seriously.

Me: I honestly feel like you’re being punked.

Seb: Must be. OR. It’s a deal we made. For every win, one player must go on the DL. A Faustian bargain, if you will. So far, 10 for 10.

Me: Then for your sake, I hope you’ve got one hell of a deep farm system.

Seb: Dude, you’re looking at our farm system. Karstens, Henn, Bean, Hughes, Wright. All call ups. Sanchez is on the DL already

Me: That…wow.

Seb: Yeah.

Me: Even when you win, you lose.

Seb: Fuckin A. We’re going to have to offer Clemens free money and ‘roids for him and his kid for life.

Me: I think that’s probably in his contract stipulations anyway. Also, he can only pitch once every fifth day. Or whenever the hell he feels like it.

Seb: Oh and 1 million pounds of KFC original fried chicken.

Me: I’ve always been a bigger fan of the extra tasty crispy myself.

Seb: Lifetime supply of mashed potatos.

Me: And biscuits?

Seb: Sure. why not. Maybe for biscuits he’ll actually sit in the dugout with the team and talk.

Me: You’re gonna need to give him a whole vat of gravy if you expect him to share sunflower seeds with anyone.

Me: Can I post this?

Seb: Why not? If we can’t at least get some laughs out of this Shakespearian comedy then I’ll stangle myself with a cordless phone. Hell, all we need are some crossdressed princesses and a donkey.

Me: I suspect you’ve just named your starting second basemen and right fielder for the month of June.

So see? It could always be worse.


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