Dear Red Sox,
Losing is bad. Stop doing it. I understand that perhaps you wanted to see what things were like on the other side of the fence. But now you’ve seen it. So how about knocking it off and coming back over to the winning side? Things are fun over here. The sun is shining, the pollen count is low, everyone is happy. Losing side? Rain and grossness and so much pollen I can’t see.
So stop it.
I mean, Lenny Dinardo, dudes? Lenny Dinardo has evidently spent his time in California auditioning for a role in the remake of Trainspotting. Don’t get me wrong, usually I’m all about the designer facial hair, but our good friend Lenny there just looks busted. And you let that guy beat you. Bad. Not okay.
I don’t like going to bed, reasonably confident in our chances for a win and waking up to realize that things went to shit and we couldn’t manage to push across even one run against Lenny motherflippin’ Dinardo. Lenny! The guy’s name is Lenny! Come on! Is this his payback to Theo for trading Bronson and breaking up the band? Kee-rist.
Fix it, please.
Meanwhile, SportsDesk tells me that Patriots mini-camp has started.
/jumps up and down with excitement.
We’re ignoring Asante Samuel’s little hissy fit and just reveling in the fact that, on paper, the Pats are SCARY good. And yes, we know, championships aren’t won on paper. Still, it’s June, I’m allowing myself a moment or two of “OMG LOOKIT HOW GOOD!” Then I will come back to earth. Because the Sox are losing and don’t think I’ve forgotten that.