Quick note to let y’all know that I made it back from parts elsewhere safely. Despite the fact that I spent hours screaming at jackasses on the New Jersey Turnpike to STOP BRAKING ALREADY and that I am completely convinced that the loathsome state of Connecticut gets bigger every time I drive through it, we made it home in one piece.
I would like you all to know that Shea Stadium is actually pretty awesome, Jose Reyes will give you Spanish lessons on the Jumbotron, Citizen’s Bank Park in Philly is completely delightful and the upper decks provided a much needed breeze, the Pirates are TERRIBLE and Nick Markakis is a litterbug.
Also, I am going to submit my resume to Major League Baseball posthaste because they need a Music Consultant. Because, as Greta and I realized yesterday during hour number nine trillion in freakin’ Connecticut, the fact that no current closer is using “The Final Countdown” as their bullpen music is absolutely tragic. I mean, said closer would obviously be transported to the mound in a pimped out bullpen car while shooting sparks from his fingertips. While wearing a cape. A cape! Who doesn’t like a cape?
I have the best ideas.