Tim Wakefield Does Not Need Your Stinkin’ Run Support


(Photo from Boston.com)

You know who loves fun? Tim Wakefield. Tim Wakefield LOVES fun. Big fan of fun, that Tim Wakefield. Big fan of being the stopper too, it seems. Which is nice. Because someone has to. Fair to say that Wake is probably also not a fan of Eric Gagne as he went eight full, surrendering only two hits, thereby bypassing that pesky “setup man” thing entirely and handing the game over to the capable Jonathan Papelbon. Apparently, that’s what we have to do now. So if Curt Schilling or Josh Beckett or Jon Lester or Daisuke Matsuzaka have any illusions about being six or seven inning pitchers, they better just check those at the door.

Actually, Beckett seems to have figured that out. As have the hapless dugout coolers. But the rest of them are on warning. And I don’t want to hear any bitching about “pitch counts” or “arm stress” or “fatigue” or “boo fucking hoo.” This is the stretch run and we need the arms now. So if you have to use duct tape and airplane glue to keep shit together, fucking do it. This is not the time to be messing around and handing things off to our suddenly shaky bullpen.

It would also be nice if the offense wanted to get in on the fun and score some damn runs already but honestly, how many times this season can we have that discussion? Doesn’t it feel like we’re always going, “We have no run support, oh nooooes!” I suppose that’s better than, “God, I hate third place,” or “You know what would really jazz things up around here? Vests!” So I guess it could always be worse.

Now, just because Tim Wakefield is the recipient of today’s Awesome Pants Award does not mean that we can let up. The Yankees are staging walk offs because they’re still insisting on being giant pains in the ass. So we’re gonna need Jon Lester to go all gung-ho cowboy on the Rays tonight. I know we’re facing Kazmir but come on, dudes, do it for the children.

On a personal note, if any of y’all lovely readers know of any place where my um, talents could come in handy, could you let me know? A corporate merger eliminated my position and I’m in the market for a job that’ll utilize my skills, such that they are. “Snarking, making fun of Josh Beckett’s giant head, inappropriately referring to Jason Varitek’s thighs and yelling at the team through the medium of the internet.” We’ll call that last one “motivational speaking.” That’ll look good on a resume, no?

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