Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!


The creature in question that evidently spent the entire game terrorizing Don Orsillo in the NESN booth.

There’s something about playing the Devil Rays that soothes the soul. Now, I don’t mean to sound like a playground bully all, “Bring me the nerdy kids so that I may beat upon them and inflate my sense of self-confidence!” (Look, in my world, playground bullies talk like Knights of the Round Table), but the fact remains, Tampa Bay is not a good team and the current series is our best chance to make up some of the ground that we’ve ceded to the Yankees of late. Assuming, of course, the Angels can handle the Yankees. But we can’t worry about that right now. We have some Devil Ray butt to whup.

Now Tim Wakefield is clearly not taking any chances. And, admittedly, it was touch and go there for the first inning. When Cash started racking up the miles, chasing the knuckleball to the backstop, I started staging a dramatic reading of “Come back to behind the plate, Doug Mirabelli, Doug Mirabelli.” Alas, it was not needed. Young Cash acquitted himself rather well back there, bat notwithstanding. But hey, it’s not like Dougie was burning down the house offensively either.

Despite the issues with Tampa Bay as a whole – per Don Orsillo: “If you have good pitching and good defense, you have a good team. Tampa Bay has neither.” – beating Scott Kazmir is no small feat. The Sox always seem to have trouble with him. Allegedly, he’s only 23-years-old which I think is completely impossible because the Sox have been losing to him for like seven years straight now and unless he started pitching when he was a fetus, I am not buying this 23 thing. Nice try, Tampa Bay, but if you’re going to build robots, at least make their back stories believable.

Tomorrow, Jon Lester faces that dude Sonnastine who was a giant pain in the ass last time out. One hopes the boys will carry some of today’s momentum into tomorrow and continue administering the beatdowns.

One hopes. At the very least, I hope Remy and Orsillo are entertained. Because when that happens, we all win.

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