Perfect Day, Nothin’ Standin’ in Our Way


(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

Awww, don’t cry, emo Yankees. Heh.

So yesterday was a good day for me. Aside from confirmation of my TV debut (I’m working on getting a clip for you guys as WBZ can’t post it on their site because of the inclusion of footage from MLB), I also got some good personal news. I told Greta earlier in the day, “the only thing that will make this better is if the Indians annihilate the Yankees tonight. And you make me a martini.” I am happy to report that both the Indians and Greta upheld their end of the bargain.

But that game can, I think, reasonably be called a “smackdown.” It was touch and go there for a while and I was imploring the Indians to just let Trotter out from whichever bulkhead he was currently chained so that he’d be free to roam the field and maybe start gnawing on Jeter’s calf muscles or something, pretending they were beef jerky. But fortunately, cannibalism wasn’t required as Victor Martinez, Ryan Garko and someone named Asdrubal Cabrera homered to make the game a laugher. And for once, the Yankee robot army of relief pitchers did not stun opposing hitters into submission (probably because “Ross Ohlendorf” is not a real boy.)

“Who the hell is that?” Greta said when Ohlendorf came on in relief of Wang.

“My guess is Scott Proctor. In a different uniform.”

“Well,” she said, “He did set his old one on fire.”

So that was delightful. And the Indians managed to do it with some shaky initial pitching by Sabathia, minimal contributions from the Indians’ own soldier in the robot army, Grady Sizemore (Greta: “grown in a lab”), and 537-year-old Kenny Lofton. And speaking of Lofton? That DHL “Kenny Lofton’s being traded again” commercial? Genius.

So all is going according to plan. Now, so long as Matsuzaka follows the script and lives up to his billing as a big game postseason pitcher, we’ll keep rolling along.

For the moment, I’m going to go contemplate an outfield of Jacoby Ellsbury, Grady Sizemore and Nick Markakis. Because my head is a fun place to live.

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