Better and Better

(Photo from Boston.com)

The way I figure it, Miami has long been a thorn in the side of these New England Patriots. So it’s not overkill to score the points. Sure, Miami is terrible this season but it was nearly 90 degrees in Miami and according to Matt Light, the Pats have won only two games in Miami in the past seven years. (I didn’t check those numbers but I’m inclined to believe Matt Light. He’s a very large man.) And Belichick, in his Belichick-y way, is right, one more turnover and it’s a two possession game and we all remember what happened a couple of years ago during the Monday Night Football game where the Dolphins dressed as traffic cones and Tom Brady decided to throw interceptions from his ass. I mean, even though we’ve all agreed to pretend that game never happened. My point being, it ain’t over until it’s over.

And, you know, this is the NFL, this is not Happy Good Feelings Learning Camp. You can’t throw interceptions. I’m sure Matt Cassel is a nice boy. Probably loves his mother and calls her on her birthday, first thing. But his mother isn’t the coach of the New England Patriots. And Tom Brady is unreal. There are no other words. (Of course, right now, he’s wearing a snappy suit and giving credit to everyone but himself for the win. Because he’s a nice boy. I mean, he’s talking about how awesome Heath Evans is. Come on.) Even Brady doesn’t seem to understand how Randy Moss catches nearly everything thrown in his general direction. Maybe Randy Moss is like the NFL wide receiver equivalent of Vlad Guerrero. Like if you throw it anywhere near the on-deck circle, Vladdy can hit it for a bomb. Randy Moss can pretty much turn any pass within twenty yards of him – horizontally or vertically – into a touchdown. It’s madness.

I would never pretend to be unbiased about my football team or my quarterback. But they’re ridiculous right now. And I kind of want to hear the slow jams Randy Moss and Tom Brady are writing about each other. Because you know that’s happening. And I’m loving it.

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