It’s Tom Brady’s world. We’re just livin’ in it.

(Photo from

Giants among men, indeed.


“Sure, it gets to you,” Bills free safety George Wilson said. “There was a situation like this against the Redskins a few weeks ago and some spoke up. I’m not going to do that. This is a 60-minute game and if they want to go for it on fourth down you’ve got to strap it up and stop it. This ain’t no pity party. In this league there is no remorse.”

“I don’t feel bad about it,” echoed Buffalo strong safety Donte Whitner. “This is football. Our job is to stop it if they want to go for it. There’s nothing against them. They play hard, they play the whole game. I don’t begrudge them. You have to stop it.”

Thank you, Buffalo Bills. Thank you for understanding the concept of football and athletic contests. Thank you for not placing the blame on someone else – the other team, the refs, the crowd, etc – and taking a defeat like men. Thank you for your good sportsmanship and for understanding that if the opponent is scoring 56 points against you, you really need to be looking internally and not externally for someone to blame. In so doing, you’ve cemented your reputation as an upstanding organization and I, for one, appreciate it. I’d like to think that if and when the Patriots lose a game (whensoever that might be), they’ll react the same way. That was refreshing.

Amy and I had an extended conversation at the bar last night – when we were still making sense and before we devolved into wondering if Belichick has started taking fashion advice from 13-year-old mallrats (more on that later) – about how the Patriots shouldn’t be blamed for ruining the curve.

“It’s like this,” Amy said, “In high school, I took an AP European History course and it was really hard. There was a lot of reading, a lot of it was boring and I worked my ass off. And then I did really well on the test and some girl said to me, ‘You did well? I hate you,’ because she was mad I ruined the curve. It’s like that. No. Don’t be mad at me because I worked my ass off to get a good grade and I ruined the curve for you. If you have a problem with that, work harder. It’s the same principle.”

“That,” I said, “is an excellent point. People are pissed at the Patriots for ruining the curve and, so far as I can tell, the point of professional athletics is to beat the other team, not to make sure everyone feels important and accomplished. We are not supposed to try to regress to the mean just so other teams don’t feel bad.”

Then we congratulated ourselves on being smart and awesome because sometimes we do that.

But the point came up again later on when James Sanders tipped Losman’s pass and it resulted in an interception returned for a touchdown.

“You know people are going to say they’re running up the score with that one,” I said, “probably it would have been nicer if we’d just handed the ball back to a Bills player and called for a do-over.”

Amy, several beers in at this juncture, made the point somewhat more emphatically. “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you give us the football do we not TAKE IT TO THE HOUSE?” She was sermonizing, y’all. It was a sight to behold.

This was, of course, nothing compared to the discussion we had over a plate of Buffalo wings (symbolic, perhaps?) about Bill Belichick’s deteriorating sartorial decisions.

“Billiam is wearing a headwarmer,” I announced.

“Oh that is fantastic. I wonder if the headwarmer is how he keeps the genius in,” Amy said.

“Additionally,” I said, “he also appears to be belting his hoodies now for reasons unfathomable to me.”

Amy squinted at the TV, “Are we absolutely certain that he’s not wearing leggings under there?” she asked. “Perhaps the kind with the lace on the bottom? Do we know that he’s not doing that?”

“Well,” I said, “I think he keeps his challenge flag tucked into his sock but I guess that doesn’t mean that he’s NOT wearing leggings. I’m just not sure I want to think about that.”

“We will have to await a full-body shot for confirmation,” she declared.

When one came, we were heartened to see that Belichick was not, in fact, sporting leggings but was instead rocking some wind pants.

“I still think he’s taking styling tips from 13-year-old girls in 1986,” I said.

“This is the thing,” Amy observed while watching Mike Vrabel and Matt Light laughing behind Belichick on the sidelines, “I’m pretty sure that Vrabes and Matt Light are the only people who get away with calling him ‘Bill.'”

“Oh, without a doubt,” I agreed, “In fact, I’d wager that they’re openly mocking his attire right now.”

“They’re so doing extra sprints in practice this week.”

“Oh yeah.”

We also noticed that Randy Moss had some incredibly detailed braid configuration going on and we theorized that perhaps he was making use of the Red Sox’ El Montro. Amy then proceeded to have a conversation – with herself – in which she played all parts and explained how Manny bequeathed El Montro and his services to the Patriots and Randy Moss for the football season. There was scant little mention of Manny’s pet unicorn but his well-publicized love for classic cars did come up.

Look, we’re simple girls. A few beers and some wings and the insanity starts rolling out.

Also, has anyone else had “The Tom and Jerry Show” theme song running through their head for the past twelve hours with “Randy” in place of “Jerry?”

According to Google, the lyrics go like this (adapted for the footballs):

Set your dial for a while!
Have a laugh, wear a smile!
It’s The Tom & Randy Show!
You’ll begin with a grin
When you first tune us in
On The Tom & Randy Show!

Introducing that world-famous QB…TOM!
And that magnificent pass-catcher…RANDY!

::instrumental solo:: (Matt Light and Mike Vrabel on air guitar)

Lots of zing, lots to sing!
Everything’s gonna swing!
So, get ready – here we go!
Big or small, short or tall,
You will all have a ball
On The Tom & Randy Show!

Do I…do I maybe need to cut back on the caffeine?


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