Lazarused

(Photo from Boston.com)

I’m brining home a baby bumblebee. Won’t Coach Belichick be so proud of me…

You know, I liked it a lot better when Willis McGahee was a bust and the Ravens didn’t know a first down from a penalty flag. Though, come to think of it, they did confuse those two an awful lot last night.

I guess I should probably mention how thankful I am for Baltimore’s undisciplined style of football. Now, I don’t watch enough Ravens games to know if this is their usual modus operandi (or, you know, something less pretentious sounding), but I do know that without some incredibly boneheaded penalties on the part of Bart Scott, Ed Reed, et al – not to mention one very poorly-timed timeout call – we’re talking about the insufferable ’72 Dolphins sipping champagne.

Of course, that ignores the little matter of Tom Brady. Which one should never do. Because speaking of MOs, Tom Brady’s is the dramatic fourth quarter comeback. Personally, I keep forgetting that but my guess is that if the rest of the teams on the Pats’ schedule have anything to say about it, I’d do well to remember it in short order. After last week’s slugfest with the Eagles, Tedy Bruschi predicted that the rest of the games would be dogfights. And if there’s one thing Tedy Bruschi is not, it’s a liar.

Certain of the receivers could have made him one had they been able to catch and hold onto the football all night long, but then where’s the dramatic comeback? As stories go, this is a good one. And ESPN surely went to bed happy knowing that they likely got much better ratings than they could have ever hoped for. They might want to look into a Depends endorsement for Tony Kornheiser though as it undoubtedly got kind of messy in the booth there what with his constant wetting himself with excitement over the “This could be the night!” bullshit. That shrieking idiot got the Tim McCarver treatment (read: mute button) from me about halfway through the first quarter. Congratulations, Tony, you’re in McCarver land now. A dubious honor, that.

Also, his little anecdote about how Pittsburgh hates the Patriots? Ya think? Gee, thank goodness they pay the likes of Tony Kornheiser the big bucks to tell us that Pittsburgh wants the Patriots to lose. He’s really got his finger on the pulse of the sports nation there doesn’t he?

But, you know, I’ll admit it, I really didn’t think we had this one. You gotta figure that your luck has to run out sometime and I thought last night in Baltimore just might be it. For the longest time, Brady and his receivers couldn’t find a rhythm, the defense looked old and incapable of stopping the run and the Baltimore cornerbacks had Randy Moss in a headlock for most of the game. Of course, Randy Moss, model citizen that he’s become, isn’t going to complain. Nor is he going to engage in a war of words with Baltimore.

Per the Globe:

“Coach Belichick doesn’t coach us or raise us that way. So for us to come up and shut them up with a last-second touchdown, that’s what really felt good.”

(emphasis mine)

Billiam has apparently officially adopted them all now. You knew it was only a matter of time.

Although if there’s one thing both the Patriots and the Ravens can agree on, it’s the fact that the officials were horrible last night. Of course, the Pats are upset because they feel they were getting mugged all night and the Ravens are of the mind that the refs handed the game to the Patriots. Which sounds like sour grapes to me. Because, Bart Scott, I’m pretty sure the refs didn’t make you throw the penalty flag into the stands after that pass interference call. Pretty sure that was all you. Pretty sure Baltimore shot itself in the foot with penalties last night, 35 of which made the difference on the final drive of the game since it ended at the 2-yard line. And I’m sure this is something they’ll spend this week thinking about and I sincerely hope they decide to take it out next Sunday night on the Colts. Perhaps Billick can use this game to get them fired up for that one. That is, when he’s not busy blowing kisses to Rodney Harrison.

Greta: Billick blew Rodney kisses apparently.

Me: He did. But not the nice kind.

Greta: I don’t think anything Brian Billick does can be classified as “the nice kind.” And I include in that statement reading his children bedtime stories, singing Christmas carols and baking cookies for the homeless. He finds a way to be a first rate asshole even while performing acts such as those.

Me: See, this is why I dig the guy. Maybe if he gets fired, he can come and play with Billiam. I think they’re friends.

Greta: I think that will not happen. Too much ego. But I hold out hope for the “Flaming Asshole Shortpant Roundtable” show they’ll have together when they’re both retired oldsters. It will be quite something to see them systematically crush the hopes and dreams of all their guests, with Billiam’s cold, calculating approach and Billick’s profane histrionics combined to leave their victims hollow shells of their former selves.

Me: Moderated by Curt Schilling? Amazing. That’s my new favorite show.

Greta: With bi-weekly appearances from Lou Piniella and the zombie corpse of Dick Cheney.

Me: We should have our own network.

I should point out that Greta’s a Baltimore fan.

So here we go again. The Pats come back from the dead and, as they say in James Bond world, live to die another day. These boys can play them some football, I’ll give ’em that.

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