Tank’d Up

(Photo from the Washington Post)

The Patriots signed safety Tank Williams to a one-year deal yesterday. And yay, defense and all that but I think what we really need to focus on here is that the Patriots signed a man named “Tank.” This could be a new thing for the Patriots. They could just start signing people with the best names. Next up, Max Strong. Then maybe T.J. Houshmandzadeh because it’d be fun to make New Englanders learn to spell “Houshmandzadeh.”

I’m pretty sure this is how Jen drafted her fantasy team a couple years ago. Once she ran out of good players to draft, she just started picking the people with the best names. I’m fairly certain she ended up with at least one “Deuce.” I’m also fairly certain she beat several of us that employed “strategy” and “statistics.”

Can we get Juice Williams yet? How about John David Booty? Heh, “booty.” I’m twelve.

But this whole Tank Williams thing could have promise. I love the nicknames Tom Brady gives to people like “Vrabes” and “Bru” and “Jab.” But Tank is already built in. And as soon as he hits people the Tank puns will be flying. Good times.

But the best part? Is that we’ll probably get to see Bill Belichick try to say “Tank” with a straight face during a press conference. It’s the little things that keep me going, people.

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