Cash Money

(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

Do you think every time Kevin Cash does something well – like last night’s 3-run homer or the (gasp!) intentional walk – Dougie dies a little inside? Awww, that’s so sad, I’d rather not think about it.

What I would prefer to think about is Randy Johnson and the manner in which his season is unraveling. I don’t quite know why but seeing The Big Unit (are we still allowed to call him that?) struggle amuses me. I’m sure all pigeons out there agree.

I also appreciate Tim Wakefield stepping up and showing us all how it’s done. Wake has been, for all intents and purposes, throwing the same pitch for thirteen years, and if there are nights like last night where he can still confuse people and make them look like 6-year-olds playing dizzy bat as they swing and miss, I figure he’s still worth it.

Good thing he’s got that lifetime contract.

Now that JD Drew appears to be coming back to earth, there’s some cause for concern re: our offense. But if the mantle of Captain Offensive Contribution is going to continue to be picked up by the most unlikely of candidates, well, we couldn’t find someone less likely than Kevin Cash. Except perhaps Dougie. Who’s probably still practicing his naked cuts somewhere.

Does this mean that my brother is gonna have to stop instinctively booing Cash now? It’s nothing personal, you understand.

Also, for what it’s worth, there is very little I wouldn’t give for Kevin “Cash Money” Cash and Kevin “The Big KY” Youkilis to collaborate on an album of raps together. Maybe Coco can hook them up?

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