At laaaaaaaaaast

I feel as though Etta James should be singing right now. Yes, that’s correct. According to our good friends at NESN, Julio Lugo has been designated for assignment meaning that the Sox have ten days to either trade or release him. That’s right, our long national nightmare is over.

Since his signing Lugo has been the bane of my existence, fandom-wise and while I certainly don’t take responsibility for his demotion, it doesn’t mean I won’t delight in it. I’d say we have the dedication and support of readers like you to thank. Perhaps I’m being too hard on the guy but I swear, the phrase “past a diving Lugo” would kill me were it employed in drinking game shenanigans. Plus there’s the whole penchant for grounding into double plays.

There was one time I remember specifically because my parents and a few friends were driving back from a Portland Sea Dogs game where we’d watched Theo Epstein scout Clay Buchholz and we were listening to the late innings of the Red Sox game on the radio. Lugo came up in a crucial situation and I swear I could FEEL that he was going to fuck it up. And, predictably, he did. I yelled “GodDAMMIT, Lugo!” really loudly at the radio, waking my mom who was dozing in the passenger’s seat. Her scream and subsequent attempt to smack me nearly made my dad careen off the road. My point being, Julio Lugo is clearly a menace to society and my continued well-being and I’m glad that particular chapter in our lives is over.

That said, pretty soon NO ONE is going to want to play shortstop in this town. Maybe the position is cursed?

I’ll leave that to you to ponder as we all embark on this lovely, Lugo-less weekend.


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