Now Kerry Rhodes will never shut up

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The thing is, Randy, you’ve got to hang onto those. Because don’t think I’m not plenty pissed off about this travesty of a football game and the fact that I have to listen to loud-mouthed Jets fans (and players…and coaches) for however long this lasts.

And don’t think I don’t plan on spreading the blame around to all y’all. Like Randy? I believe we’ve covered how you need to hang onto those passes, no? And Thomas? Throwing said passes so they are, in fact, catchable would also be helpful. But mostly, Billiam? You do realize that you are not actually Obi Wan Kenobi and therefore no amount of black magic and hand waving is going to make up for the fact that we NOW HAVE NO DEFENSE, RIGHT? I mean, I presume you know this. I presume you didn’t just trade away Richard Seymour for Oakland’s first round pick in 2011 because you just can’t help yourself from fucking over Al Davis (tempting, I know), and because you actually had a plan. Because if you somehow thought that the defense featuring NONE OF THE FOLLOWING: Bruschi, Harrison, Hobbes, Izzo, Vrabel or Seymour was going to stop anyone then I think you may have overestimated your own power.

Now look, Bill. I get it. You’re you. I trust you in most things and I’ll admit that it’s not outside the realm of possibility that you somehow engineered this loss so that you could spend the next few weeks kicking your player’s asses up and down the field to keep them from being overconfident. And if that’s it, well then…fine, I guess. If it works, more power to you.

But what about me, Billiam? What about all the bullshit I have to listen to? Billiam, I live with a Jets fan. In a very small apartment. (I mean, to his credit, he is very kind and not the kind to make with the rubbing one’s face in this kind of thing but still). What am I going to do? You didn’t even consider me, did you? And after all I’ve done for you…

Also, Mark Sanchez is totally going to eclipse Peyton Manning for quarterback to appear in the most commercials per broadcast, isn’t he? Greeeeat. Super.


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