(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)
Jason Varitek laughs at the preposterous notion that he can be defeated by a mere mortal. Honestly, people, he is Superman. His only known Kryptonite is the high fastball. But you think he’s gonna let someone like Chris Duncan get the best of him. For he is Tek, Captain of Awesome.
“Didn’t that same thing happen to a Molina a few weeks ago?” I asked Amy.
“I think he had to be carried off the field on a stretcher,” she said.
“With the understanding that I don’t want any Molinas to be hurt,” I added, “I think this means Jason Varitek is greater than a Molina.”
Amy mused, “You know how Banana Republic and The Gap and Old Navy are the same company but they use the good cuts of fabric for Banana Republic and the middle for the Gap and the crap ends for Old Navy?”
“Yeah?” I said.
“Jason Varitek is the Banana Republic cut,” she said. “Then there are other catchers who are the Gap cut, but most people are the Old Navy cut.”
“Apt comparison,” I said.
Anyway…Kevin Youkilis. Gettin’ it done. Like he told you he would. It’s just that easy.
Due credit should go, of course, to the Sox bullpen as well since, aside from some uncharacteristic Papelbonian hiccups, they were effective and got the job done.
Probably because of what I’m taking to be their mandatory presence on Saturday morning at the Sharon Timlin Memorial 5K Race to Cure ALS. I was there. So was Amy. So were many Sox bullpeners. Justin Masterson in particular showed up early, way before race time and stood next to Mike Timlin looking as though he was waiting to be told what to do. He appears to be a helpful sort, that J-Mast.
“Do you think I should tell him I’ve christened him the team ace?” I asked Amy.
“Oh absolutely,” she said, “And then slap him on his pitching arm and say, ‘No pressure, kid!'”
Luckily for everyone, I restrained myself.
Justin Masterson’s wife Meryl ran the race, as did Dawn Timlin. Both of them kicked our asses. But that was pretty much expected.
What wasn’t expected? Seeing David Aardsma and Javier Lopez positively geeking out over a tiny bulldog puppy after the race. Not that I can blame them. I mean, it was seriously the most adorable puppy I’ve ever seen. There was also an older bulldog who was very protective. Basically, we were living in this Petsmart commercial. And David Aardsma was angling for the best picture of said puppies on his iPhone. No lie. Maybe that’s what he’ll look at to psyche himself up now?
He also, by the way, knows that I know this about him since Amy and I were returning from the car and I was blabbing loudly and said something about “David Aardsma’s obsession with bulldogs” which made Amy start laughing for reasons I did not understand until I looked up and saw…David Aardsma about five feet from us. “Heh,” I laughed. “Maybe he’ll Google that phrase tomorrow.”
“And lo the many things he’ll find,” Amy added.
So yeah, the Sox lost two of three to the Cards but they won the third in dramatic fashion. Plus, Rick Ankiel fell down, Youks went on a tear, Tek demonstrated his superhuman abilities (Again. Some more.), Mike and Dawn Timlin raised tons of money for ALS research, David Aardsma got to bond with a bulldog puppy and I learned that Javier Lopez wears Converse All-Stars. So really, not a bad weekend all things considered.