What the hell was that? No, what the HELL was that? I am so very, very disappointed. You know why? Because it was always worse to have to face the disappointed coach or dad or what have you than to have someone yell and scream in your face and tell you that you suck. Because I’m assuming that you KNOW you suck.
And if you are not certain, last night’s score can surely provide some clarity for you on that point. Because if you gentlemen think I enjoy watching the Flyers score go exponentially upwards while I sit at Fenway and observe the Red Sox participate in a contest of ineptitude (luckily, the Blue Jays were just ever so slightly more inept), then you are MISTAKEN.
Because if you think you’re pulling that bait and switch, the ole’ “We’re not that good so no one expects too much from us oh wait a minute we’re in the second round up three games to none, hang on here maybe we’re good after all now people are starting to believe, oh that’s right, WE SUCK” then I have got some words for you, sirs. Those words being “Stop it.” Because I do not truck with that sort of behavior, gentlemen. And I will not stand for it.
So here’s what I have to say to you: you better straighten up and fly right and take care of business come tomorrow night because I have enough to worry about without you bozos futzing around on the ice and losing 4-0 to a backup goalie who is, in point of fact, NOT Ken Dryden or Patrick Roy or even Martin Brodeur.
Suffice it to say I am very disappointed in you, gentlemen. Get it together.
And you, Joshua Patrick Beckett? You and your ailing back or your avulsions or blisters or whatever else is bothering you? I’ve no patience for that either. Rub some dirt on it. Suck it up. I’m tired of all your lollygagging.
LOLLYGAGGERS, the whole lot of you.